Cancer - living with it...
I am here to tell you that living with cancer is no easy feat, especially for your caregiver, if you are fortunate enough to have one, as I am. My mom is one of my greatest support fans and she calls me from California all the time to cheer me up. She herself had hip replacement surgery and a hernia repaired this year. She is in excellent health and recovered wonderfully, I'm very happy to say. My sisters and brother have also been a source of support - a very important one for me, whether just by email or telephone. Email works best as I tire easily with long phone conversations.
I did manage to vacuum the carpets yesterday, but wore myself out. I try to cut the grass (about 3 acres of it) on a riding tractor, but that saps my energy too for about 2 - 3 days afterwards. Even loading the dishwasher is a feat for me.
I have recovered from the last bout in the hospital, but I still worry about it. I have been plagued with bowel problems all my life. In the debulking surgery, they did a bowel resection and removed about 8 inches of colon.
I manage to walk down to the barn and back once in a while. I can't believe how this saps your strength. My muscles commonly feel like jello and weaken easily. I am getting tremors now, runs in the family...but I never had them before. I will consult my oncologist about this.
I am still alive and fighting. Yes, there are times I question my faith, want to throw in the towel, and rage at God. In my heart, though, I know this has been put on my plate for a reason...just wish I could figure that one out.
I hate being bald! My head gets cold. I used to have such thick, wavy hair. I look ugly to myself in the mirror. My wonderful sister, Denise, crocheted me several hats. I use them frequently. I worry about winter. Neoropathy in my feet from diabetes doesn't help either. I will keep on with the fight...what else can I do?
I did manage to vacuum the carpets yesterday, but wore myself out. I try to cut the grass (about 3 acres of it) on a riding tractor, but that saps my energy too for about 2 - 3 days afterwards. Even loading the dishwasher is a feat for me.
I have recovered from the last bout in the hospital, but I still worry about it. I have been plagued with bowel problems all my life. In the debulking surgery, they did a bowel resection and removed about 8 inches of colon.
I manage to walk down to the barn and back once in a while. I can't believe how this saps your strength. My muscles commonly feel like jello and weaken easily. I am getting tremors now, runs in the family...but I never had them before. I will consult my oncologist about this.
I am still alive and fighting. Yes, there are times I question my faith, want to throw in the towel, and rage at God. In my heart, though, I know this has been put on my plate for a reason...just wish I could figure that one out.
I hate being bald! My head gets cold. I used to have such thick, wavy hair. I look ugly to myself in the mirror. My wonderful sister, Denise, crocheted me several hats. I use them frequently. I worry about winter. Neoropathy in my feet from diabetes doesn't help either. I will keep on with the fight...what else can I do?
posted by Terri at Monday, July 10, 2006
2 Comments:
I DO NOT KNOW
I do not have an answer to
The questions asked of why;
Why circumstance cause hearts to break
And sorrow eyes to cry.
I do not know a reason for
The suffering of man;
Nor can relate how grief and pain
All fit into God’s plan.
I cannot fathom depths of God
I do not understand;
How tragedies merge gloriously
In triumph through His hand.
For reason’s that I’ve yet to know
Or fully comprehend;
Because of love He does allow
The pain where faith begins.
And yet through suffering we see
His mighty hand of grace;
Reflected in our character
And written on our face.
While human understanding fails
To give an answer why;
Each one can rest and be assured
It’s not escaped His eye.
Our God in His great Sovereignty
Has all things in control;
And through our faith and trust in Him
He calms our troubled soul.
And this is what He’s promised us
Before our trials began;
His Power is perfected in
The weaknesses of man.
Cheryl Thompson 10/11/2004
My Sweet Meno;
I logged into your site this afternoon, and while reading your blog, the poem I wrote came to mind. It fits so perfectly. There are no concrete answers why anyone has to suffer such horrible diseases. I don't understand it all myself.
The title of your blog caught my eye, and Sweetie, this isn't all there is. There is so much more than what we know here.
I love you. You are the BESTEST web designer I have EVER had the priveledge of knowing.
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